Just Breathe Read online

  Just Breathe

  By

  Vincent Morrone

  Copyright © 2014, Vincent Morrone

  All rights reserved. Ebooks are not transferable. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or transmitted in any form by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage system without the express written permission of the publisher except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

  Edited by Emily Marquart

  Cover Art by Ash Arceneaux

  Publisher’s Note

  This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

  Dedication

  Just Breathe is dedicated to the victims and survivors of violent crime.

  Acknowledgments

  First and foremost, I want to thank my family.

  Becky, I wouldn’t have gotten here without your love and support!

  My daughters, you guys are my inspiration!

  To my fellow Disenchanted, thanks for all your help and encouragement! Love you all!!

  Emily Marquart, as usual you did a marvelous job editing and as usual helped make my book shine!!

  Chapter 1

  “Just breathe,” Cassie Shaw said in a calm and steady voice, while staring into panic-filled eyes. She studied her reflection in the bathroom mirror. She had the door locked, and was trying every trick her therapist had taught her to keep herself from going into a full-blown panic attack.

  So far, they were working—but just barely.

  She came to this stupid party with her best friends with the intention of having a good time. She deserved to have a good time. No, she thought to herself. She deserved to have a great time.

  It was nearly the end of the summer. In a few weeks, she would start college. She had managed to get through her entire senior year of high school with grades that were more than acceptable and she had only had three panic attacks. They were what had worried her the most.

  Cassie still felt it sometimes. That cold stab of terror that she was about to lose control. It could come out of nowhere and completely cripple her, but she had learned to recognize the signs and symptoms. And she had gotten much better at controlling them. She didn’t need to be medicated anymore. Sure, she still went to see Susan once a week, but that was okay. It wasn’t a sign of weakness to need help. It was a sign of strength that she could admit that she needed it and was getting the help she needed. Her life was normal. Or close to it, anyway.

  She looked in the mirror over the bathroom sink and decided her life was close enough to normal to suit her.

  Cassie tried not to worry about her appearance. She wasn’t super thin and busty like her friend Megan, nor was she voluptuous like her other friend Coretta. She was somewhere in-between. Long, dark blonde wavy hair that fell past her shoulders. She had what she considered an average build. Her pale blue eyes that she had inherited from her mother were her best feature. She knew she was a little on the short side, but that had never bothered her. Still, she got hit on enough to reassure her that she was attractive. Too bad she didn’t get hit on by anyone she was interested in.

  Cassie opened the door and reaffirmed her earlier commitment to have a good time. Before long, she would be back in school. Not that she minded school, but she was nearly nineteen—she should be able to party hardy.

  But parties meant being surrounded by people she didn’t know, and that could always be a trigger. So could strangers watching her. Or having to talk to new people.

  Yeah, she thought to herself. She was a real party animal.

  The party was at the home of a friend of a friend, a guy named Rodger, whose parents had gone away for the last few weeks of summer. He had promised he’d be good at home and, like idiots, they believed him.

  Leaving the bathroom, she spotted a guy she’d seen around school with his tongue down the throat of some bleach blonde girl. Their hands roamed over each other. The guy, Cassie was pretty sure his name was Larry, groped for the handle of the bedroom door. Finding it, he swung it open.

  Larry took a small step inside and then motioned toward the bed. The blonde girl nodded her consent as she leaned in and kissed Larry hard on the mouth. She whispered something in his ear that shocked and pleased Larry. She then took his hand and pulled him inside. Larry followed eagerly, nearly forgetting to close the door behind him.

  Cassie sighed. Hey, they were adults. They both seemed to know what they were doing and neither seemed too drunk. It was none of her business.

  Cassie went downstairs, repeating to herself over and over again that she was here to have a good time.

  Would it be so wrong to meet some guy here at this party who might lust after her? Not that Cassie could see herself ‘hooking up’. That wasn’t her style. Cassie was no prude, but she had standards. She didn’t think they were too high.

  Her thoughts betrayed her. An image of the one guy she’d ever been intimate with floated to the surface in her head. And Adam Larken was the last thing she wanted to think about tonight.

  Well, maybe not the last thing, but it was pretty low on her list.

  She felt something warm on her stomach and neck. A stab of fear kicked in when she realized it was an arm holding her and a mouth that started to nuzzle. Quickly, she pulled away.

  “Excuse me,” Cassie said as she spun around. “I think you may have mistaken me for someone else.”

  The guy in question smiled at her. She could smell stale beer and cigarettes on him as he moved closer. He was huge. She recognized him as one of the linebackers from the high school football team that had graduated the year before her. He had shoulder-length brown hair, a crooked nose and he needed a shave. Plus, he reeked of cheap cologne.

  “No way, baby,” he said. “I know you’re the hottest girl at the party. I was just introducing myself. My name’s Tom. The guy who can make your hottest dreams come true.”

  Cassie backed up a step and raised an eyebrow.

  “Really?” she said. “You have someone you want to introduce me to?”

  Tom made a show of grabbing his chest if she’d just stabbed him. Cassie took that moment to try and squeeze by, but Tom blocked her way.

  “Don’t go just yet,” Tom said. “I’ve got a question.”

  Cassie didn’t say anything, she just concentrated on her breathing.

  “Did you spray your jeans with Windex?” he asked.

  She shook her head in confusion. “Why would I do that?”

  “No idea,” Tom said as he leaned in closer. “But it worked, because I can see myself in them.”

  Cassie rolled her eyes and pushed on Tom’s chest.

  “I’ll mail them to you,” she said. “I’ve got friends here. I need to find them.”

  Tom moved his face an inch from hers.

  “I’ll be your friend,” he said and tried to kiss her. Cassie pushed harder on his chest and swatted away the hand that reached for her breast. He backed her against the wall, trapping her.

  Suddenly, she couldn’t breathe. Her heart started to pound in her chest as if it were an animal trapped in a cage, desperate to escape. Cassie was about to scream when Tom pulled away from her.

  Looking up, Cassie realized Tom hadn’t just remembered his manners. Someone was there, someone who looked ready to teach them to him.

  “I think you should leave,” Adam Larken said. “Right now.”

  Adam was six feet tall, solid muscle and looked really pissed. Tom sized him up, but didn’t look eager to go after someone he didn’t tower over.

  Tom looked at Cassie again. His
eyes raked over her body as he tried to decide if she’d be worth it. Finally, he put his hands up.

  “This party is lame,” Tom said. “And I wouldn’t bother with the lesbo here.”

  Adam looked ready to clock him, but Cassie grabbed his arm. Adam didn’t need the trouble with the police.

  Tom stumbled away, heading for the door. He got a few high fives as he made his way across the room to his pals. A few people didn’t want him to leave, but Tom shook his head and made up some excuse. When he finally got to the door, Tom managed to say goodbye with a single finger salute before he closed the front door behind him.

  Cassie looked at Adam and tried to think of something casual and light to say, but she was having enough trouble breathing. Adam watched her with concern and understanding.

  After a moment of tremendous internal struggle, Cassie closed her eyes and concentrated on breathing just like Susan had taught her. Her heartbeat slowed, she stopped shaking and the urge to scream like a lunatic abated.

  About thirty seconds later, Cassie felt calm enough to open her eyes. Adam was still there, waiting patiently. Cassie forced herself to smile.

  “Thank you,” she said. “I was about to handle it.”

  Adam smiled. “You were about to scream for help.”

  “Yeah, well, that would have been handling it.”

  Adam laughed. Cassie looked him over. He had come a long way from the slightly dorky kid she knew from kindergarten. His blue eyes and square jaw were enough to make most girls swoon. Of course, Cassie swooned over him years ago. Adam had been her first Valentine. Her first crush. Her first date. Her first love.

  He had been her first everything.

  But that was over and she didn’t like the fact that he had come to her rescue. Even though she needed it. Which was part of what she hated.

  “Well,” Adam said. “All I did was jump in before you had to ask for help. Look, Cassie, I know we haven’t talked in a while...”

  Yeah. Not since you told me you weren’t in love with me anymore.

  “No,” Cassie agreed. “We haven’t. You’ve been busy.”

  Cassie looked across the room and saw Taylor Ruff watching them while trying not to look like she was watching them. Cassie had to give Taylor credit for not rushing across the room and making sure everyone knew that she was Adam’s current girlfriend and Cassie was the crazy ex.

  “I’m okay,” Cassie assured him. “I’m going to go find Megan and Coretta.”

  Adam stepped back and Cassie started to scoot by him.

  “If you need a ride home or something,” Adam said, “my cell is on. I’ll be around.”

  Cassie managed a weak nod and smile, but didn’t look at Adam again. Instead, she walked into the next room, looking for some sign of one of her friends.

  She cursed Adam. He had broken her heart. Now, he came riding to her rescue. He wanted to be the hero and the villain?

  Cassie shook her head and concentrated on finding a familiar face. The first one she spotted was Megan Cook.

  Megan was tall, slender and looked like a Maxim model. She had actually done some modeling, but mostly just catalogue stuff to help pay bills.

  Cassie started to approach Megan, but realized she currently had her hands full with an extremely large college sophomore. After a moment, Cassie was pretty sure she remembered his name was Connor. They both knew him from high school, where he had been the shy kid who never talked to anyone.

  There was no way Cassie was going to come between them now, so she looked around for other friends. Coretta was nowhere to be seen, but she spotted Ben.

  “Ben,” she said. “Have you seen Coretta?”

  Ben Hegel was sitting on the edge of a couch, his eyes scanning the room as if he were waiting for something. Ben was a long, lanky guy with a mess of dark hair on his head. He blinked a few times at the question. Cassie went a little closer and repeated it.

  “Oh yeah,” Ben said with a nod. “There’s a pool table downstairs.”

  “Oh,” Cassie said. She knew Coretta played pool.

  “Yeah,” Ben said. “Some of the guys challenged her to a game of strip pool.”

  Cassie’s mouth fell open at the thought.

  “I know,” Ben said with a laugh. “I was going to go watch for the show, but I met someone.”

  Cassie nodded and turned to look for the stairs. As she did, a young man with red hair and freckles passed her by with two red Solo Cups and took a seat next to Ben. He handed one cup to Ben and within seconds the two of them were lost in each other’s eyes.

  Cassie made her way through the crowd, looking for the stairs to the basement. She asked a few people as she made her way through the room filled with cigarette smoke. Finally, someone pointed her in the right direction. She went that way and spotted the stairs.

  Half-way down, she heard the sound of pool balls knocking into each other. There were a few laughs and a few groans.

  Cassie made it to the bottom and saw a small crowd of people watching. Coretta was standing on the far end of the pool table, stick in hand, preparing to make her next shot. Cassie wasn’t surprised to see she was fully dressed.

  She was a dark-skinned African-American girl, with a short haircut and a voluptuous body. She often made men drool.

  Right now, she had them blushing.

  Her opponent was standing to the side, shirtless and barefoot and wearing a look of naked terror on his face as Coretta took her time. Right behind him were two other guys, each stripped down to their boxer shorts.

  “Um, Coretta,” Cassie said. “What the hell are you doing?”

  Coretta stood up, leaned on the pool stick and sent Cassie a brilliant smile.

  “Hey Cass,” Coretta said. “These boys here kept challenging me to strip pool. Over and over again. Kept telling me they’d take it easy on me. You know I couldn’t turn down a challenge like that.”

  Cassie moved around the table, grabbed Coretta’s arm and dragged her to a corner.

  “Did you tell them how good you were?” Cassie asked.

  Coretta laughed.

  “Yes,” she answered. “They told me they were better. Clearly somebodies mamma didn’t teach them not to lie. Don’t worry. I won’t make ’em strip past their boxers.”

  Cassie looked over to the pool table and saw she only needed to sink one more to win. Then she looked over to the guy holding the pool cue.

  “So are you almost done?” Cassie asked.

  Coretta shrugged.

  “I’m getting there,” she said. “I got two more that mouthed off.”

  Cassie scanned the crowd and saw two young men waiting. Why they didn’t get up, strip down to their boxers and just get it over with, she had no idea.

  “I guess I should hang out with you,” Cassie said.

  Coretta smiled.

  “You certainly can,” she said as she moved back into position. “I’ve got Malcolm over there so I’m sure I’ll be okay.”

  Cassie looked over to the corner where Coretta’s longtime boyfriend sat, talking a mile a minute to some of the other spectators. He was six foot seven of solid muscle. Cassie had to assume the challenges for strip pool were all made while Malcolm was in the restroom or something, because nobody could be stupid enough to challenge her knowing she was with him.

  She’d be safe.

  “Okay,” Cassie said as she headed for the stairs. “I may get a ride home soon, so don’t panic if you don’t see me later. I’ll text you.”

  Cassie climbed the steps and laughed in spite of herself when she heard the sound of the pool balls striking each other. Somebody was about to hand over their trousers.

  Reaching to top of the stairs, Cassie admitted to herself that she was not having a good time. She looked around, trying to see if there was any way to salvage the night. Ben was in deep conversation with the redhead. Megan was slow dancing with Connor. She turned around and saw Adam standing with Taylor. She wanted to look away, but she just couldn’t. There was so
mething in the way they looked at each other. Clearly, Adam loved her. And she was pretty sure Taylor loved him back.

  That was officially the last straw.

  She passed by Ben on the way out.

  “Hey Ben.”

  “Yo,” Ben said, not bothering to look up. He was deep in conversation with the young man next to him.

  “When you see Megan and Coretta later, let them know I left. I got a ride home with someone from school.”

  Cassie turned and headed toward the door.

  “Hey,” Ben called. He shot up quickly and approached her. “Wait a minute.”

  Cassie paused by the door.

  “You really have a ride?” he asked. “I can take you.” Ben looked back at his friend on the couch, who was trying his best not to look lonely already.

  “Yeah,” Cassie said. “He’s waiting for me now. I gotta go. I’ll be fine.”

  Ben smiled and looked relieved as he headed back to the couch. Cassie sighed and stepped outside. She made it to the sidewalk and felt a wave of dizziness. She took a moment, closed her eyes and concentrated on her breathing. After a few moments, feeling surer of herself, Cassie started to walk home.

  It wasn’t very far, Cassie told herself. She’d lived in this neighborhood her entire life. This wasn’t the first time she’d walked home. It was just the first time she’d done it alone. At night.

  But she was determined not to call her father.

  Cassie kept walking, thinking about starting school, thinking about Megan and Connor, thinking about Ben and the redhead. When she got around to thinking about Coretta winning at pool and having five guys standing around in their underwear, Cassie actually started to smile.

  Near the corner of Broadway, Cassie glanced at her watch. She still had another three blocks to walk to get to the bus stop. She looked down the street and could see the last bus moving away. That meant she had thirty minutes to walk three blocks, cross the street and wait.

  Looking around, Cassie saw a twenty-four hour pharmacy. Taking one last look at her watch, she decided to go in so she wouldn’t have to stand outside for so long alone.